Sometimes I Wonder

29th Jun 2008

Sometimes I wonder what I’ve been spending my time on, what my attachment to these idols is, whether it’s as valuable as someone else’s attachment to an idol, whether I’m worthy of saying I love a certain idol…you know, really stupid things. I have this tendency to overthink everything. I ought to try and fix that. In any case, here are my answers to Celestia’s new survey. I hope you don’t mind, Celestia, but I’ve had to include Kpop in this, because of the Kpop groups who are very important to my fandom life, and the fact that in some cases, I wouldn’t have answers if I didn’t include it. Though DBSK are active in Japan, so it’s really only Suju that I’m really cheating with. Whatever.

I am entirely leaving Jrockers out of this, because including Jrockers and idols in the same category makes it impossible to make any decisions, and really doesn’t give the idols a fair chance, in my book. I think I will try to answer this survey again keeping specifically to Jrockers, over at WHAT IS PILLOW FIGHT! Let’s hope I actually do that.

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Love Your Seed

20th Jun 2008

Yes. You read right.

So, short preview clips of the new Perfume and Hey! Say! JUMP singles are now out, Perfume with “Love the World” and Heisei with “Your Seed” for the Japanese release of Kung Fu Panda. Thank god for the deliciously misinterpretable title of the latter, because that is going to amuse me for months. But anyway, there isn’t a whole lot to judge the strength of either single on yet, but here are my first impressions.

Love the World: The part that we’re hearing in this preview clip sounds so much like the chorus melody of “Polyrhythm” that I just keep expecting to hear “kono poririzumu” in the next line, and that kind of bothers me, just because I seriously expect to hear it. But this song sounds like more of a happy song than Polyrhythm. As I just talked about the other day, I’m very picky when it comes to happy songs, and I’m just not feeling this one yet from the preview. At the very end of the preview it starts to sound good to me, but then it cuts off. This, at least, gives me hope that I will enjoy the full song. Why must it cut off there? Gah.

Your Seed: This, on the other hand, is Hey Say’s first single that isn’t total happy music. This is definitely sounding like the kind of pop that appeals to me. I like the instrumental a lot and the tempo, melody, rhythm, and of course vocals all sound good, so I’m thinking I’m going to really enjoy this. I’m happy that they’re not making yet another happy song, because as much as I do like “Dreams come true”, “Ultra Music Power”, and “Hey! Say!” despite their being such happy songs, I don’t know how much tolerance I’d have for yet another happy song. Not that this song is unhappy, but I’m defining “happy music” as a genre here, and from the sound of it, this doesn’t fit into that particular drama. It’s like the more normal idol pop that isn’t specifically super happy, and I look forward to hearing more, because it sounds like a great song in and of itself.

I’m sure “Love the World” is great too and I just haven’t been able to hear enough of it yet, but what I’m hearing so far just isn’t doing it for me. This frustrates me, since the quality of Perfume’s releases is something it feels like one can always rely on, but I really do think I will develop an appreciation for the song when I hear it all in HQ, because I really don’t think Perfume can truly go wrong.

While I’m on the topic of Perfume, let me state how much I’ve been enjoying their collaboration with Porno Graffitti, “Itai Tachiichi”. It’s a damn catchy song, and I can’t stop listening to it. It even has more rockishness to its instrumental that I didn’t notice before listening to it with bassy headphones, and it’s great. And yes, Perfume are awesome in the PV. It’s kickass, and they’re really moving up, what with getting to collaborate with another artist like this. Go Perfume!

So that’s all for now. Both PVs should be coming out soon, so I eagerly await them both, and will likely have a lot to say when they are released. And I don’t think the PVs will disappoint me, either. =)

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Attention: Life After H!P Does Exist

19th Jun 2008

I am SO glad that the Gocchin Avex rumors became the truth. Before there were even rumors, my immediate reaction to her leaving H!P was that I hoped she’d sign with Avex, so I’ve wanted this for a long time. I am absolutely thrilled for her, and so excited to hear her first Avex release.And look at her. She looks gorgeous. I mean, this isn’t exactly my favourite style for my idols, but you know what? It works for Gocchin. I don’t really want her to be the next Koda Kumi (please, never sing a song like “Ima sugu hoshii”…), but I didn’t mind the route she was going towards the end of her H!P career, and Avex can only take what she was doing then and make it ten times better. Based on how much I liked her final H!P releases, that can only be mind-blowingly great, in my opinion.

Gocchin was really the only H!P artist to start seeming…really not H!P, the way I see it anyway. “Glass no Pumps” just looked so AVEX, and she continued that way from then on. Despite all the boob-groping, I found her kind of sexy quite classy. “Secret” was the epitome of that. She was beautiful in that, and the whole PV was beautiful and the song was wonderful, and it was just so under-appreciated for reasons I could not understand, because it was seriously good. And her last H!P album, How to use Sexy, was just so different from what the rest of H!P was putting out, and so great. You would have never expected to hear something like the song “How to use Loneliness” from an H!P artist, and “Give Me Love” was just such great, mature pop, and “City Wind” was so calm, and she had that jazzy track (was it “Daybreak”? Didn’t listen to that one as much), and “Life” was pretty powerful. And “WOW Suteki” should be recognized by far more H!P fans, because it is just a fucking terrific happy but not in an obnoxiously cutesy way pop song. This was a more mature pop album, and it showcased her talents to terrific effect. Gocchin is talented, and I would have been seriously disappointed if she didn’t return to the spotlight.

I’d be spazzing over this a lot more right now if I had the mental capacity to do so today, but I’ve had so much thrown at me today that it just isn’t happening. However, when I look at these new pictures of her, I feel proud. I feel proud of her and her decision to leave H!P and pursue a different career path. And I feel confident that I am going to like that career path. I don’t believe that her new music will let me down. I am so ready for the new Gocchin, I can’t wait for her new release, and I will support her all the way.

WELCOME BACK, GOCCHIN! <3

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Happy Music

16th Jun 2008

I can, at times, have a low tolerance for certain music that is too happy. Happy rock is like ballads for me - even if I like a song, I probably won’t want to listen to it often. But I think happy rock actually bores me a lot, compared to ballads which I just have to be in the mood for. An Cafe is a good exception, because I love even their happiest songs, but with happy rock-ish Jpop songs and even happy Jrock songs, I have some issues. And then there’s happy pop. Just plain generically happy pop can be pretty boring to me, too, which might sound crazy since I’m an H!P fan, but it’s the truth. There’s a reason why I’ve been disappointed by too many recent Berryz and C-ute releases, and why I prefer “Samurai Heart” over “Winter Lander” on AAA’s Black and White single. (Don’t ask why that was the first example that came to mind, though. I don’t even know.)

And then, there’s “Miracle”, the classic Super Junior song from before Kyuhyun was even a member of the group. Now, I love “Haengbok” (”Happiness”), the cover of an old H.O.T. song (as well as the original), and I’m kind of indifferent to Super Junior Happy (so far) but I definitely don’t dislike them). But Miracle is the happy song that I really just can’t listen to very often, and it’s all because of that one English line that they repeat over and over again in every chorus: “Life couldn’t get better.” I don’t usually want to hear that, because usually, my life could get better. Super Junior are be successful idols with talent and looks and friends and fans; sure, their lives aren’t perfect, but they can’t be that bad. I’m a teenager who could know if I’m going to pass that hard course in school, could have a job, could have more trustworthy friends, could be a bit skinnier. So usually, when I hear them singing “life couldn’t get better,” I want to yell “FUCK YOU, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!” Hence my not listening to Miracle very often. XD I don’t hate my life, but I guess the things that really stress me out are sensitive topics. Heh.

All of that said, there is plenty of happy music that I do enjoy. Haengbok is just one example; I love both of Hey! Say! JUMP’s first two singles, “Ultra Music Power” and “Dreams come true”, and they’re both happy songs. And Arashi’s “Kitto Daijoubu”, Momusu’s “Mikan”, the eternally nostalgic “Berry Fields”, even “Meguru Koi no Kisetsu”, Hellogoodbye’s “Touchdown Turnaround” if you want to get into English music, Perfume’s self-titled song…there are plenty of examples. Hyper songs like Touchdown Turnaround and “Perfume” are great for moments of celebration, when you just want to dance around and be happy and excited. AKB48’s “Seishun Girls” is great for that, too, and has been getting lots of plays on my iPod. Happy music feels the very best when you’re excited and happy and wanting to celebrate. And that’s how I’m feeling today.

This morning, I got two pieces of great news that I’d been hoping for: I passed computer engineering, a course that I was really stressed about the entire year and worried about failing, and I’ve got my very first job, a summer job organizing activities for youth in my neighbourhood. This is all such good news that I’m actually a whole lot less worried about the math exam I have in two days, which could determine whether I pass or fail grade 11 math. If I fail, I can just make it up next year and it won’t be that big of a deal, but I was still feeling really stressed about it when I didn’t know if I would pass computers, either. Now that I’ve passed that other course and I have a great-paying job in place for the summer - AND I’m going to music camp, a rock camp, to sing, for sixish days in August - I don’t feel like I need to be all that worried about it anymore. I’m relieved, I’m happy, and I’m EXCITED. So it’s definitely a moment for happy music, for me.

On the way to school this morning (to show my computers teacher my final assignment), I was listening to that Epik High song I quoted the other day, with the line “One day soon it will be my time to shine.” Listening to it again after getting all of that good news, it made me that much happier. After months of stress over school and things I shouldn’t have stressed so much over, things are finally working out really well for me, and I feel great. I’ve had some success, and proved that I can do things when I put my mind to them. I really feel like I can believe in myself, right now. My time to shine is coming, and stuff like this is just the beginning. Then there’s “Ultra Music Power”, with lyrics that send the message “You’re not alone.” While that’s not a message I really need to hear right now for any particular reason - I’m feeling pretty good about my friends, right now - it’s still a very encouraging message to hear, and makes me feel happy. 「独りじゃないさ。」 And that whole song just radiates an exuberance similar to what I’m feeling right now, except even better; the feeling I’m aiming for; the feeling of having made it. I haven’t made it yet, I haven’t seen my biggest dreams come true, but I’ve had some important successes that are making me feel great.

And of course there’s AKB48’s Team B’s theme song, “Wasshoi B!” It’s crazy feel-good and catchy as hell, so I find myself listening to it all the time. And today, I couldn’t help but want to alter the lyrics to fit my own current happiness (Lyrics and translation from here, and I’m leaving “wasshoi” as is because “heave ho” just doesn’t have the same ring to it, but you get the idea):

愛嬌　度胸で　状況　盛況
JU！JU！JU！ワッショイ！
反響　実況　最強ジュちゃんは
JU！JU！JU！ワッショイ！

最強ジュちゃんは
JU！JU！JU！JU！
最強ジュちゃんは
JU！JU！JU！JU！
最強ジュちゃんは
JU！JU！JU！JU！
最強ジュちゃんは
JU！JU！JU！JU！ 　最強！

Translation:

With love, respect, and bravery, I’m succeeding
JU! JU! JU!  WASSHOI!
Echo out that really the best Juchan is
JU! JU! JU! WASSHOI!

The best Juchan is
JU! JU! JU! JU!
The best Juchan is
JU! JU! JU! JU!
The best Juchan is
JU! JU! JU! JU!
The best Juchan is
JU! JU! JU! JU! THE BEST!

I am happy, to the point that I don’t even mind Miracle today. Because for today, life couldn’t get better, and really, it’s pretty awesome all the time, anyway.

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Until You Become Epic

14th Jun 2008

Yesterday I finally downloaded Epik High’s new(ish, since I’m late to this party) album and gave it a listen. I’d already been really enjoying the song “One” and its MV, and naturally, I like much of the rest of the album, too. Epik High have played a huge part in reminding me that rap is not supposed to be about hoes and smoking weed and making money and getting shot nine times; once upon a time, North American rap music with meaning was normal, not the exception. Fortunately, there are still artists like these guys writing real, meaningful lyrics for rap music, and reminding me that it’s supposed to be good. Thank you, Epik High. I applaud your hard work, and I love it. (It’s actually not so crazy for me to address them as “you”, since…well, I think they all speak English, but at least two of them do…I think. Whatever, I know about Tablo, okay? I never said I was a fangirl, I just like their music. But anyway, there’s a possibility this could actually be read by the people I’m talking about, like anything to do with Henry Lau, so…hi, Tablo? Didn’t you live in Canada at some point? I love that.)

Anyway, I feel pretty great and encouraged when I listen to Epik High, because I can feel that they really mean what they’re saying, and because I’ve heard Tablo tell the story of all of the hard work it took for them to get to this point. If things could work out for them, they can work out for me too, right? I have to believe that. Dreams really can come true, and stories like Epik High’s are proof of that. They managed to overcome getting scammed by someone who worked with them on their first album and losing all of the money made from that album, and go on to become the success they are today. Thinking about Tablo’s journey to becoming a professional musician is also encouraging; he took the time to try out different things and figure out where he was going with his life (I’ll admit that I don’t know what circumstances led to his time at Stanford University, but he definitely had a journey to find his own path), and didn’t have to become famous right away at a young age in order to find that success. I still have time, and I can take the time right now to finish high school, go to university in the city I live in and love, and find my way, one way or another.

“One” is a great song. It’s reaching out to try to comfort those who are hurting, and doing so in a very eloquent way. It’s telling those people that they understand. “Are you hurt? Are you scarred? Are you stumbling in the dark? You’re still beautiful to me.” Like a fool, even I found myself doubting this line. I thought to myself, “The girl in the video is so pretty, and skinny. Would Tablo ever want to call me beautiful, too?” It’s frustrating when I realize that my self-esteem is still much lower than it should be, but I’m working on it. Still, I know that it was foolish to think that. The pain I was feeling at the time that I had that thought is exactly what they were trying to make better with this song. And I know that I am beautiful, inside and out, and it doesn’t matter if some people can’t agree. And, I know that Tablo isn’t some shallow person. This song proves that. He understands. Maybe he even understands the things I go through better than I do; after all, he’s significantly older than I am, and he’s been through and experienced a lot more than I have.

I’m a kid sitting in front of my computer in Canada, listening to Korean (and Japanese) music and saving ten million pictures of Kim Heechul. Heechul doesn’t know me; Epik High don’t know me; none of my idols have any idea who I am. But that’s okay, for now. Sometimes I look at Jpop idols and think that 17 is way too old, that it might be too late for me. But really, 17 isn’t that old, even in terms of the entertainment industry. I’ve got plenty of time. And one day, I can become successful, and be able to meet my idols. It’s not my motivation for working to become a performer, but it is something that I daydream about. Who knows what my future might hold? I’m 17, and I’m awesome. There are a million opportunities ahead of me, just waiting for me to reach for them. It feels like a good time to quote AKB48’s “Kimi ga hoshi ni naru made” (”Until you become a star”), right about now (from here):

Until you become a star,
Have the strength to not let go of the dream!
You should see the chance to shine
You can try, you know,
For just that sky’s expanse
Aim for the future!
Like the feeling of the distant universe,
One day, they’ll come true
Those days when you’ll shine

I will have the strength to keep holding on to these dreams, working towards them, and believing in them. And every day I will try to believe in myself a little bit more than before. To return to Epik High:

One day soon it will be my time to shine.

Until then, I’ll be here, listening to Epik High and AKB48 and reading translations of Heechul’s Cyworld entries, and not giving up on my dreams.

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Wonder Girls’ “So Hot” vs. SHINee’s “Nunan Neomu Yeoppo (Replay)”

13th Jun 2008

At first this just seemed like a more convenient way for me to review a couple of new releases that interest me. Wonder Girls and SHINee (who from now on will just be referred to as Shinee, because I’m lazy like that) are both young, five-member Kpop groups with R&B/hip hop-ish music, WG being all girls and Shinee all guys. They’re both on major labels (WG at JYP, Shinee at SM) and well-promoted, and thus quite popular, though WG probably have a larger fanbase as of now just because they’ve been around since last year, while Shinee have just debuted. But anyway, now that I think about it, this vs. review actually makes a whole lot of sense, because Shinee are singing about a girl they find pretty (the Korean in the title means “she is so pretty” or “noona is so pretty”, “noona” being the Korean word for “big sister” that a male uses for an older female), while Wonder Girls are singing about how they are so attractive. And hell, the “noona” thing works too, since WG probably have an older average age than Shinee. Well, that worked out nicely.

Anyway, Wonder Girls’ newest release is being called a “comeback” (though they weren’t really gone for that long, but that’s just the way Kpop uses that term), while Shinee’s is their debut. Wonder Girls I’ve liked for awhile and I own their album, while Shinee are brand new to me, and thus I had no real expectations for them, whereas I was expecting a good WG release. Now that I’ve had the chance to absorb them both, there is only one winner in my book (though others may not necessarily agree with me).

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A little self-promotion never hurt anyone, ne?

11th Jun 2008

I’ve been doing plenty of blogging lately. Sadly, none of it has been at WHAT IS PILLOW FIGHT! I feel bad that I’ve been neglecting that blog, and I really do intend to try and pick up the pace there over the summer, since I’ll obviously have more free time now. Alas, I’ve had the motivation to work on some other blogging endeavours recently, instead. Gaijin★Revolution is a blog dedicated to chronicling my experiences as a Caucasian fan of Asian pop culture, how this fandom affects my daily life, and how others treat me because of it. I find myself very easily motivated to write there, since I like talking about myself and my life. My other new blog is Rella♡Complex, which actually isn’t a worship blog, but rather a typical idol pop blog focused on one specific group, Super Junior, and more specifically Heechul. I’m trying a style of blogging there that I may incorporate into my blogging here soon - namely, I’m updating every day with the latest news, updates, and media that I’ve found pertaining to Suju and Heechul, and brief thoughts and opinions on them. This kind of blogging was inspired by what I’ve been reading over at Hey! Say! Heisei!, a blog I’ve been enjoying a lot recently as I’ve been getting more and more into Hey! Say! JUMP. It’s a lot easier to write entries like that than long, analytical reviews, and while I love those reviews, I just don’t have the energy to write them these days. I’m enjoying Rella Complex a lot, and it’s actually giving me more reason to look into current Suju news more, which is good, because I’d been falling out of the loop there somewhat.

I put my new blogs on Blogger because I feel like I’m making less of a commitment to them that way. If I put them on Wordpress and decided not to keep going with them in the end, it would feel like a total failure, but I feel like it’s less of a big deal if I have a blog on Blogger, so if I decide to stop on either of them, it’s okay. But I think I’m actually going to stick with both of these blogs. Perhaps I’ll move them to Wordpress eventually if I feel like I’m really definitely going to stick with them. But for now, I’m making good use of my Blogger account, where Jounetsu no Kotoba sits dormant and waits to be updated again someday.

So, that’s about it. Go check out my new blogs! *Pimps* And expect some Kpopness here later. (I usually don’t actually post things that I say I’m going to post, but I actually mean it this time. Seriously. XD)

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Attempting the H!P Break

8th Jun 2008

Well, it’s been going…alright. The thing is, my listening habits haven’t felt that different from before, and I think that’s because I’m saying “it’s okay if I listen to this song or that song once in awhile” and listening to them when I really wasn’t listening to much more H!P than that before I said I was going on a break, anyway. I’ve still been listening to Buono!’s “Hoshi no Hitsujitachi” because it calms me down (and sounds so much like a Chinese song in the verses, for some reason), and lots of High-King’s “C/C” because I made that an exception from the beginning (though mostly because of the beat - I don’t think I’d like the song half as much were it not for that fucking awesome beat that makes me want to dance all sexy). My iPod is busted right now and the only way I can listen to it is to skip through all of my songs by artist. C-ute are one of the first artists that come up on my iPod, and yesterday I found that I didn’t mind stopping for a little while in their folder, because I’ve been missing Megukami and I wanted to listen to some of their older stuff for her, specifically “Soku Dakishimete”, which I kind of wish they wouldn’t perform so often now that she’s gone, since it was seriously her song. When someone in my friend’s Japanese classroom started playing “Massara Blue Jeans” yesterday, I couldn’t help but demonstrate the dance, because that’s what I do. And finally, when I needed some happy-making music last night, I found myself wanting “Mikan” and its B-side badly, jumping around the room singing along to them, and then kind of wanting to listen to “Resonant Blue”, of all things.

I think what I actually need to do, here, is tweak this H!P break a little. I don’t think trying to cut all H!P music out of my listening habits is fair to me at all, but I’m still not at all in the mood to be a part of this fandom anymore, at least for quite awhile. It being summer would make it even harder, because summer feels like the time to listen to a bunch of summery H!P music and party, to me. So obviously, I just need to find a new balance.

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The Idol World Will Be The Death Of Me

3rd Jun 2008

And apparently I’m a masochist when it comes to this stuff, because I keep on coming back for more despite getting hurt. Look how long it took me to get to this point with H!P. I know I’m just going to keep on going like this with other fandoms. Is there really a point to it all? Should I continue with idol fandoms?

It’s hard. A lot of the disappointment I’ve experienced in the H!P fandom can and does happen in other idol fandoms too. Really, Perfume seem like pretty much the most drama-free idols I love right now. Shit goes on in every other idol fandom I’m a part of. Take the Super Junior fandom, for example. People who read my personal blog, in particular, may know the extent of my anger at Super Junior’s fan club and the way they’ve been behaving since last fall. But none of that should matter as long as the actual stuff going on with the idols is great, right? Well, there’s always the potential for disappointment. Like Super Junior T being turned into Super Junior H (for Happy) with Yehsung replacing Heechul, and that being the only lineup change. It just feels like a slap in the face to me. I love Trot because it has four of my five favourite members, and Heechul is my absolute favourite Suju far ahead of the others, so this pisses me off. I know he’s doing other stuff, but…I want him in subgroup work. It’s not like all of Suju are doing anything together right now. Once in awhile, but not constantly.

The DBSK fandom is disappointing because they’re STILL in Japan right now. I want them back in Korea and to release a new Korean album. The AKB48 fandom, as much better as it feels to me than H!P right now, is disappointing, because the same girls take all of the spotlight over and over again (just like in H!P), and sometimes even their releases are boring me now. Johnny’s, of all things, is feeling like a good alternative to H!P for me right about now (and an alternative involving people of the sex I’m actually attracted to, which is definitely a plus), but I now know that there are guys who probably thought they were going to get to debut before Hey! Say! JUMP debuted and seemed to lose their chance after that, and that’s troublesome. Particularly, one Yamashita Shoon is making me go *_* with his gorgeousness, but I’m scared of looking up his performing and finding that I like that, too, since it is believed that he won’t get to debut. Honestly, should I really be sticking around in any of these fandoms?

Well, of course I’m going to. Dong Bang Junior, in particular, I don’t think I could ever leave behind. I could never turn away from any of those boys, especially Heechul. And DBSK came before Suju in my fandom world, and they mean a lot to me, too. I don’t want to give up on AKB48 when it feels like I just started with them (sure, I’ve liked some of their songs here and there for over a year now, but it’s only been since March that I’ve known all of their names and their stage songs and whatnot), and now that I’m actually kind of liking some Johnny’s guys (beyond Arashi, though I’m still not much of a fangirl of them), I kind of just want to keep going into that fandom and experience more. I don’t want to stop in any of these cases.

Still, the fact that I could ever give up on Hello! Project has to say something, right? And right now I feel like giving up. What if I give up on them all, eventually? This is why I kind of think that liking individual idols is a lot easier than liking the groups, and liking individual songs works better than trying to make yourself like all of their music. I’ll be less disappointed that way. I’m brought back to Heechul with this: no matter how he’s shuffled around in the subgroup situation, and even if he’s currently in a Korean version of a musical that doesn’t look that appealing to me, I still love Heechul, because he is a special person to me. I’m a fangirl of him on a superficial level (see: pretty much everything in the Heechul tag on coinlockersbaby, particularly entries with titles such as “I’D TAP THAT”), and I also connect and relate to him and respect him as a person, which makes him that much more special to me even though I’ve never met him. I’ve seen a lot of different sides of him from various sources; he acts one way on TV and radio shows with adult hosts he needs to be respectful to, another way on Suju member-hosted radio shows, another way in Super Junior Full House, and then there are his blog entries where he does everything from randomly combining the names Super Junior, Wonder Girls, and Girls’ Generation to half-drunkenly rambling about an unrequited crush, the rumors about it, and why it will never work. I know he obviously has secrets that us fans don’t get to know, like any idol does, but I feel like to some extent I know who Kim Heechul the person actually is, and I am fond of that person. No matter what goes on in Super Junior, I will always admire Heechul.

I still like H!P idols right now even though H!P itself is pissing me off. The fact that I felt the need to update about the Miyabi thing yesterday despite my current stance on H!P proves that. Miya is an idol I like a lot, and who has a lot of talent and deserves to be reognized for that. I’ll be upset if anything happens to threaten her career. And there’s Momo, who I believe will take over the world. I still like Mittsi and want to see how her idol potential develops, I still like Koharu and enjoy seeing the non-Kirari Koharu come out in Morning Musume, I still think Chisato is an amazing singer who needs more recognition, and I’m still holding out hope for Airi’s singing skills to develop more so I can go back to being as in awe of her skills as I used to be. But I can’t be a fan of their groups’ music right now, and their groups as a whole, because it’s just not working for me. I think taking this approach in the future - focusing more on individual idols than the groups they’re in - might make this all easier for me.

(AKB48’s Hirajima Natsumi, formerly of Team A, now of Team B. She’s managed to find some spotlight in Team B unlike any she ever saw in Team A. At least that’s one success story.)

I haven’t really reached much of a conclusion with this entry, but I did need to get some of these things out of my system. I’ve been thinking about all of this while reading about some Johnny’s stuff and thinking about getting into the HSJ fandom (which has definitely been happening lately). Looking at old Ya-ya-yah stuff, I almost feel like I don’t have the right to like Yabu and Hikaru when I wasn’t a fan of them when they were younger, but that’s stupid, right? No one who’s worth my time is actually going to have that whole fandom superiority complex thing with me. Yopo-tan didn’t; she just introduced me to it all and happily enjoyed as I began to go HSJ crazy. I think she’s still enjoying it. XD But I won’t really have to worry about jumping in and not having been a fan during the whole “HSJ is debuting and not Ya-ya-yah” drama if I adopt the “individual idols, not groups” approach. But that would mean not going all “yay HSJ,” and I think I honestly like all of them and want to enjoy them as a group. So…I don’t know. I’m screwed over, right? XD But at least I have eyecandy to look at while I subject myself to this madness. The eyecandy will make it all better. And Yamada Ryosuke’s dancing. Thanks.

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For the record

2nd Jun 2008

If UFA tries anything funny this time around, I am pretty much never going to return to the fandom.

Love is what matters.

To quote a friend: MIYA FTW! <3

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