alan is one of those artists that I had always meant to try, but never really got around to it. I don’t remember why. I’ll bet someone in H!P released a single that I completely bashed and bitched about but still racked up 100+ listens on iTunes with.

But one day, when I realized that I don’t really give a fuck about a song with the words “Monkey Dance” in them, I sat down and listened to “Ashita e no Sanka”…

…and then took out my earphones and stared at the screen in blank shock for about a minute afterwards.

Because this single is good. I’ve always been a sucker for classical or traditional music - cheesy, overproduced dance-pop is always fun, but going back to the roots is nice too. And that’s exactly what alan does in her first single. She employs everything from Chinese instruments to wailing in the chorus, and let me tell you, it all works in her favor.

Everything about this single is absolutely beautiful, from the tracks to her voice to the PV. There are faults here and there - there always are - but they’re easily overshadowed by the good bits. And it’s just so much more unique than any music I’ve heard in ages.

It definitely helps that she’s a cutie, too. I love her eyes.

The A-side, Ashita e no Sanka, was love at first listen for me. The second the intro finished and the instruments really picked up, I was in love. I’m not particularly choosy about music, but the way this song weaves traditional instruments with elements of modern music is amazing and something I’ve rarely heard in music. It’s also something I’d like to hear more of, if any musicians are reading.

The best part of this song is the wailing mountain notes. Without them, I doubt this song would be as good as it is. The emotion that seems to be poured into them carries across the rest of the chorus, and it all builds to a dramatic song, despite the mellow and quiet verses.

Despite my love of the instrumental, alan’s voice is a huge part of why I like this song. Her voice is a bit nasal, certainly, but I don’t find it to detract from the song - I don’t really even think it’s that noticeable. She has one of those “cute” voices - very light and sweet, pretty rather than beautiful. Her tone gets richer at certain points, but never really stays that way. It’s hard to say if that’s a good or bad thing. Something tells me that less might be more in this case.

And the PV is just lovely. Much of it is done in darker colors, which makes her face and those bright blue feathers on her arm stand out.

Though, to be honest, at some points, it stops being striking and pretty and just makes her look like a funky blue chicken. Or Ayumi Hamasaki on another one of her animal-art fashion rampages. (I love you, Ayu. It hurts me to invoke your name like this.)

Still, it doesn’t change the facts that shots like these look really, really nice. Oooh, pretty colors…sorry, what?

Though there’s a disappointing lack of ornamentation on her fake nails. Come on, get a little wild. Stick some Tsuji Nozomi-style lace onto them.

And I love, love, love her sleeves. Who’s our shallow little blogger? Who’s our great shallow widdle blogger? Chiakii is, that’s riiiight.

There’s a bug. I hate hate bugs. alan apparently loves them, as she proves later. I don’t know, this is getting kind of creepy. I’m sure there’s a deep meaning and symbolism to all of this, but all it’s really leaving me with is a grossed-out kind of feeling.

…okay, so this isn’t that bad. But it’s definitely getting there. I mean, bugs? Really?

At this point, the PV lightens to a sort of sepia color, which to be honest, is kind of ugly. The blue feathers don’t look half as good against it, and it’s just a little yucky.

Then again, alan’s apparently using her wailing powers to call up a powerful swarm of bugs, so maybe this whole thing is just yucky in general.

“Come to me, my pretties!”

Still, this PV introduces plenty of good things. Like fire. And, uh, fire.

(I’m not going to bother thinking of rude captions to these anymore. Have some alan eyecandy! She’s cuuuute!)

Fact: if left alone, fire will destroy your wooden buckets. News at 11.

But no, I really do find the PV beautiful. I don’t really get it, but it utilizes some wonderful imagery and alan should never cut her hair because it works so well long. (But the bugs. Ick.)

Sakura Modern sounds a lot like “Ashita e no Sanka”, but it lacks the title track’s power and spirit. It’s a good song and enjoyable to listen to, even having similar pretty instruments used. But it doesn’t make you sit up and think “Wow” or even want to listen to it a second time. There’s no crazy wailing, which disappoints me and leaves me with nothing to remember about the song. Still, it couples pretty well with “Ashita e”, so I guess it serves its purpose.

Very few artists have managed to make me completely love them with only one song, but alan has accomplished this feat. I will now set my sights on finally listening to “Hitotsu” and then on “Natsukashii Mirai” (which is a great song that you should go listen to right after you’re done listening to “Ashita e”, please and thank you). She has something that sets her apart from other Jpop singers, and she should milk it for all its worth. Her latest single “Natsukashii Mirai ~longing future~” broke into the Top 20, a major improvement from the #100 “Hitotsu” managed to snag. At this point, alan’s got nearly everything: looks, a voice, a great style of music, and a charting single. Hopefully avex uses her the way they should.

I’m going to say something right now: I hate Cinderella. I really do. It’s my least favorite fairy tale ever, mostly because all Cinderella really does is bitch about having to pull her own weight around the house until a magical fairy godmother comes down to help her out and everything is fixed. And all Cinderella has to do is wash a few floors. (And she’s one of the 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived. Above Luke Skywalker and Batman. This is an injustice.)

Or maybe I’m just bitter because Cinderella stole Prince Charming from Snow White (who is not even on the aforementioned list, grr.) I love Snow White. Maybe it’s just because her story is more macabre and gruesome than any of the other Disney princesses (especially the evil stepmother wanting to carve out her heart and eat it for dinner, because it’s not a breakfast kind of thing, right?) or just because Snow White is the Disney princess.

Either way, I love, love, love Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, so I’ll put aside my dislike for the title character and enjoy the fact that my favorite group is going to be performing it. Though Takahashi deserves so much better than Cinderella. Whore.

Anyway.

I didn’t think I’d like High-King, either, despite me being in love with three of the five members. Tanaka Reina, the leader? Gag me. That really must be awkward, if you think about it. Reina’s used to listening to Takahashi, and all of a sudden Takahashi has to listen to her? I’m sure they’re both very amicable about it, but it cracks me up. And Maeda Yuuka is cute, but who the hell is she? Why can’t we get some Yasuda Kei action, for once? (Kei-chan would make an awesome Cinderella. And you know it.)

Then the preview came out.

Shit, this song is good. It’s like “Kowerenai Ai ga Hoshii no”, but no one is saying “High-King in da house”, which means that I can actually listen to this song in public! I personally find all of Takahashi’s (I can’t call her Aichan anymore. Not after her crazy hotness in Resonant Blue) hat- and face-touching part of her appeal, but I can see how one would find it annoying. I like Reina’s hair (and that’s the nicest thing I’m going to say about her in this review, so if you’re a Reina fan, you might want to leave now). Maeda Yuuka is adorable. Yajima is…is…my God, I love this girl. And…

I didn’t want to make this joke, but I can’t help myself. O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN. I am worshiping you right now. Shimizu Saki is about to join Linlin in my closet and I’ll feed her Eggs for breakfast. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’ve never really seen her outside of Berryz, but I’m really impressed with her. She doesn’t do much here, but whenever she does do something, she does it well. She fits in really well with the “cool, urban” theme of High-King, unsurprisingly, if you remember the 2007 summer performance of the aforementioned “Kowarenai”. Her hat, her outfit, her lines…she just looks so right in this unit. The other members seem to be there for the benefit of the “King” idea - Takahashi leader of Momusu, Tanaka one of the front girls, Maimi the leader of C-ute, Maeda Yuuka…she’s just cute. But I could almost swear that the second Captain was put in the group, they decided to use the cool image instead of the usual H!P cute one. She fills the image better than any of the other members, even the newly-kakkoii Takahashi.

Which isn’t to say the other members aren’t trying their darnedest. Takitty’s moving farther and farther away from her former “generically cute” personality (or lack thereof) to a more cool and, dare I say it, sexy one. It’s the hair, I tell you.

Maimi really can do no wrong in my eyes, so if there’s something that’s obviously horrible and wrong with her performance, I’m not noticing it. I’ll write a post about how much I love Ishikawa Rika before I blaspheme against Maimi! Anyway. There’s not really anything about Maimi that causes her to fit in more or less with the image of High-King. She’s the sporty Kid, the one that’s good at running and kicks everyone’s asses during Sports Festivals. Other than that, there’s nothing that particularly defines her as an idol. While she doesn’t detract from the group, she doesn’t contribute to it either. Well, except for giving it her Maimi awesomeness. But that’s unfortunately moot in this discussion.

I wasn’t too enthusiastic about Maeda Yuuka at first, if only because I thought they were only bringing her in because she’s cute. Which I’m sure is part of it, but while she’s not the best, most awesome singer I’ve ever heard, she’s pretty good. And she’s trying, she really is. I have to give her points if only for that. She actually succeeds, for the most part. I don’t know if I could say she’s cool, but she’s bordering it. As far as Eggs go, she’s one of the talented ones. She reminds me a lot of Momoko, which is a good thing. I have to keep reminding myself she’s 13 - she looks younger. I don’t know much about the technicalities of singing and dancing, but from my perspective she’s doing pretty well. She could be better in all respects, but I think we can chalk that up to inexperience. Despite her age and lack of exposure before now, she holds up surprisingly well amongst her seniors. I have hopes for this one.

And that brings us to Reina. Reina, Reina, Reina. You thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? You thought all your glaring in Resonant Blue would just make us forget all that winking you’ve been doing since “Chokkan 2.” Well, I’ve got news for you: H!P fans never forget. There’s a reason Fukuda Asuka and Yanagihara Hiromi still have fans. So don’t try to flounce around in your little pigtails pretending it never happened. You might’ve fooled everyone at Up-Front into thinking you’re a badass yankii, but I won’t be so easily taken in. I know the truth, Reina!

But really, she isn’t even trying. Even Maeda Yuuka’s putting some effort into seeming like she’s a hip and cool idol. She’s the bee’s knees, yo. But Reina’s just smiling and doing her cat’s eye face at us. I want a kakkoii group, and that’s not going to work out if one of the members isn’t cooperating. I know you can glare Reina, you’ve even got those crazy slanted eyebrows working in your favor. Use them to your advantage!

This wouldn’t upset me as much if it weren’t for the dance. I like the dance quite a bit, though there are some parts where the moves are obviously recycled. But unless you’re an H!P fan that spends too much time watching their PVs, I bet you wouldn’t notice this, so I don’t really mind. But the dance follows up on the R&B/hip-hop feel of the song, and like most R&B/hip-hop dances and videos, it benefits from not smiling while you’re doing it. Though, actually, no one manages to get this part right - Takahashi covers it up by doing a very self-satisfied smile, which is the only smile appropriate for this style of music. Everyone else just can’t contain their joy, and I don’t blame them, they’re pretty kickass. But still.

Saki looks great in that hat of hers, even if Reina’s tails are sprouting out of her head. I’m starting to think she’s too good for my closet. Maybe I’ll put her in my toybox instead.

Not that any of the others are bad…

Yes, Reina, 12 is indeed made up of a 1 and a 2. I don’t know why you feel the need to point it out to us. The other members have caught on that this is supposed to be a kakkoii kind of single, and they refrain from most goofy antics - but Reina is just not getting it. Yes, you can smile, and even a seductive kind of wink would be appreciated - but holding up your fingers? That’s Kirari “Balalaika” stuff right there, and it does not look good in this PV.

And I actually like the spinning table. Am I the only one? It’s a bit jerky and disjointed, but it works well overall in the PV. Well, I think so anyway. I haven’t seen the edited version yet, and I’m not sure if I’m going to. The original works fine with me.

Anyway, the song itself is an acquired taste. At first, I thought it was okay, but nothing really special. Like Resonant Blue, it’s somewhat disjointed, with the song slowing down, speeding up, holding notes and suddenly dropping them - generally kind of yanking you around while you listen. There’s an abruptness that needs some adjusting to get used to.

But it grows on you…like fungus. The chanting quality of the song is quite catchy and addictive, and the blend of high and low voices is pleasant, even if you don’t particularly like the individual voices themselves. The Tsunkuvoices are minimal, thankfully; and the Michishige Sayumis and Ishikawa Rikas of the collective are not present. This is great unit overall, and they were given a great song to work with.

And simple as the PV is, the hairstyles and clothes are great. Maimi’s ponytail is love, as is Takahashi’s hat. Reina’s skirt is inappropriately short, and I can’t say that’s a bad thing.

But great as the A-side is, “Kioku no Meiro” is just a million kinds of great. I can see why it’s not the A-side - it’s not particularly different than anything else in the H!P collective. But it is a great song. Takahashi’s voice is clearer and sweeter than it is on the title track, Captain and Maimi get more lines, which is never a bad thing (and I’m still waiting for my Captain photobook, UFA), and even little Maeda Yuuka gets a good chunk of lines and Moses on a cracker if I didn’t know that was her, I would swear that Momoko snuck her way onto the single.

I guess I’m disappointed that this was only a one-shot unit. They could be so awesome, it seems a shame they’re only getting one single. Who knows when we’ll next see Captain outside of Berryz? And Maimi’s a big part of C-ute, certainly, but she just doesn’t knock Suzuki Airi off the top in terms of line distribution and attention. Maeda Yuuka’s just an Egg, which means that after this, maybe we’ll see her cute little face backup dancing for one split second in the next concert DVD.

It’s not fair, really.

(PS. CHIAKII IS FIFTEEN TODAY. ;D)

And by that, I mean, nothing matches AT ALL, therefore making it one of the greatest costumes ever worn by any H!P member at any time in H!P history.

Don’t ever change, Linlin.

ETA: After further inspection, I’ve come to the conclusion that the top and the skirt aren’t so bad…it’s just that they top it off with that HAT. It’s not even the fact that it’s bold and blue, it’s that it’s a big-ass rain hat turned up so it looks like a pseudo-pirate hat.

I’m not sure whether they should fire the costumer or give them a raise just for making me laugh so hard.

I’m going to say this straight out: I like Resonant Blue. I really, really do. But it was just so…not what I wanted. I was so pissed to find out that the “Ue~” was done by Takahashi, not Linlin. I mean, I really thought they were Lin’s, and I was so upset to find out that they weren’t. Don’t get me wrong, I love Takitty, but Linlin is the most experienced out of the 8th gen. For God’s sake, give her something.

Now, am I surprised at the line distribution? No. I’m really not. Though my love for Koharu is waning greatly. I still love her, but this was just not a good song to give to her. Mikan was perfect, she slotted right into all that sugary happy cheer. Resonant Blue? It just…didn’t look right. Reina looked appropriately bitchy (not like she has to try, right?) and Takahashi doesn’t really have any persona to adhere to, which is starting to be a good thing. She was great in Mikan, all smiles and sweet delivery, and she manages to be appropriately badass here, pulling out her man-voice and that awesome, awesome eyeliner. But Koharu? For God’s sake, there’s a time and place for that crack-induced manic grin. This song is not one of those times and places, okay?

And, well…Koharu’s just not sexy. Well, that’s untrue. She can be sexy, but it comes out in a very unconscious way. Koharu is at her sexiest when she’s just posing confidently in a bikini or smiling normally at the camera. All the seductive dance moves and mature clothing don’t do anything for her - if anything, they make her look strange.

Meanwhile, in the background, Eri and Risa are working it and can I just say: Risa is hot. I’m serious. She’s grown up into a very attractive young lady, so straighten those curls out and give her a chance, UFA!

Anyway.

And there is KameShige action in the PV, which is proof that there is a Jpop God, and he clearly reads my blog.

Reina looks like a prostitute. I mean it. And not in a good way. I’m not just saying that ’cause I hate her, I’m saying it because it’s real, opinionated truth. Yay biased writing! Hey, I never said I was in this to bring truth to the masses.

Okay, this. This is exactly what I’m talking about with the Koharu situation. Reina is about to walk in and do her solo line while glaring at us under her eyebrows of death while Takahashi makes sex noises and flips what’s left of her hair…and Koharu air guitars. Um. Yeah. I love the girl, just not here.

Risa is homeless. But she can take a taxi.

HEY HEY EVERYBODY I JUST SPOTTED JUNJUN FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME IN THIS DANCE SHOT!

Look at those boots! And y’all are saying she’s not a prostitute.

Eri wants us to rock on and have a good night! We’ll take that advice. Jesus, this dance shot is depressing. I mean, the dance isn’t as bad as previous ones (oh Sexy Boy, why did you have to ruin your greatness with that para-para?), but…my God. Resonant Blue is just so…blue. It’s killing my day.

Takahashi is hot. Wow. Short hair makes you way sexier than you were before, news at 11. (Unless you’re Sun Ye.) Or maybe it’s just the fact that she’s glaring. I can kinda see what it was about Mikitty that had everyone going now.

Reina’s pissed, yo.

And now it’s time for the dance shot in another room! My God, this PV is so high budget. I mean, I think that’s a real dance room! And that was probably a real tunnel Reina was under. They even splurged and got Sayu and Eri real crepes in a real amusement park. I applaud you, UFA. It took guts to take away from the Berryz’ budget like that. I’ll bet you anything that’s why their next single is called “Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance.”

Aika’s adorable. I can’t find anything that I really like about her, other than the fact that she looked awesome in those first few seconds of the dance shot and she has got the cutest face ever.

But as much as I love Aika, she cannot compare to LINLIN. Seriously. Oh my God Linlin you are so awesome. I worship you and your baby-eating ways.

Su! Pe! Su-pe-sha-ru GEN-E-RA-TION! OI!

Okay, maybe not.

I finally got a clear shot of hooker!Reina’s face. Reina, I’d feel so much worse saying this about you if you didn’t piss me off so much. You’re cute, though. I’ll give you that. And you look great in a bikini. I hope that makes up for all the insults I throw at you…no? Too bad.

And now it’s time for all the girls to stare at us like we’re a new species of a bug that they’ve never seen before!

Reina just kind of glares. What, is she pissed that none of us bought her services?

Risa looks…like she’s trying to be sultry. Her lips are parted, she’s got that vapid look down pat, but I don’t know, I get the feeling she wants money so she can go buy food.

JunLin just stare. I LOVE YOU LINLIN. I HOPE YOU KNOW THIS. Loooove. Loooove. Oh, and Junjun, I like you too. BUT I LOVE LINLIN WUT.

Aika, you’ve got the cutest nose. Right up there with Ianto from Torchwood.

Whoa. Takahashi. I’ve done a bit too much elaborating on how attractive I find her in this PV, so I’ll lay off. I think you know how’d my comment would go already.

KameShige <3. Though wtf are they wearing. Sayu’s in a nightgown, and Eri’s got like…a cotton jumpsuit. Ew. Come on, you can do better than that.

Everybody, this is sexy Koharu. On the…Hello Pro Hour set? I’m not even going to try. She’s really matured, our Koharu. Well, kind of. I’m still trying to figure it out.

“HELP ME!” Omg Sayu. You nearly gave me a heart attack. But yes. Yes yes yes. Sayu is awesome.

And we close with Reina glaring at us some more. Then she smiles at us and walks away. What the hell just happened? I mean, seriously. I got more Reina-glarage in this PV than in any other Momusu media ever. And not one wink. I think she’s possessed. Or has an evil twin named Margo who killed Reina in a poolhouse and has clearly replaced her here.

I know I said I like this song, and I do. But it feels so patchworky and disjointed. The parts don’t flow into one another. Risa’s “Baby baby” sounds out of place. The way the song slows down on Koharu’s line before the chorus and then speeds up again feels like I’m being jerked around and it’s…not pleasant.

Of course, there are some very good parts to this song as well. The “kanashimi ga koda masuru (Wow…)” part is probably my favorite bit of the whole song. Koharu isn’t given notes that she can’t sing, Takahashi is finally utilizing her great deep voice (man voice, if you will) and Reina…she’s okay. I’ll leave it at that. And even if I can’t hear anyone else, well, that’s okay. I can live with that. Does the lack of Linlin upset me? Yes. Do I think it’s a horrible, awful injustice done to her? Well, kind of. Am I going to mourn the lack of her in the song? A little, maybe. But is is a really big deal to me? Well…no. Morning Musume has their fingers in almost everything, from music to TV to stage to advertising to photobooks to radio to…I could go on and on. If I don’t get my Linlin fix one way, I can get it another.

And if anything, Resonant Blue has really made me love Aichan. I’ve always liked her, but she’s never been quite so aggressive or attention-grabbing as here. It’s taken her seven years, but she’s finally inching out of her shell.

And she’s hot. I had to say it again.

The only thing about this single is that there’s very little to say about anyone else. (Other than I LOVE LINLIN AND I WANT TO KEEP HER IN MY CLOSET AND FEED HER SMALL CHILDREN FOR BREAKFAST.) Aika is cute, Junjun is cute, Eri needs to hack off her hair again, Risa needs to buy a straightening iron. The end.

And hey hey this single had a B-side that I didn’t hate with the passion of a thousand wota. Sono Bibibibi Whatever Whatever is catchy, people. I kinda wanted something a little more like Resonant Blue. Anyone remember the greatness that was Kanashimi Twilight with Hand made CITY? There need to be more B-sides that are as good as the A-side. I’m aware they’re not trying to sell us on the B-side. But at least make an effort. You’re wasting my hard drive.

Momusu has put out a string of great singles lately, and I’m a little scared. Everything post-Aruiteru has been great (even Mikan, in my opinion) and it’s feeling a bit precarious. It seems to be a custom to screw up a string of great hits with one that completely sucks, just to throw us all off balance. Please don’t do that to my fragile fan mentality, Tsunku. I beg you.

I can’t help it. I saw that written on the box in the PV, and just like when I first got Sweet Valley High #69, I snickered. I can’t help it, I’m immature and horrible like that.

Anyway, according to several sources, the Wonder Girls are dropping their retro look with their multicolored shoes and hairstyles for a sexy look. Which disappointed me when I heard it, because what? Sexy? Fuck sexy. Every girl group in the world tries to pull off sexy at one point or another, and frankly, it’s old.

Of course, Wonder Girls actually do pull off the sexy look pretty well. (Though I don’t get this new thing they apparently have for leopard print. It was cute when I was four. Which was in 1997.) Sun Mi and So Hee lean more towards the cute end of the spectrum, but Ye Eun’s rocking those red tights and Yoo Bin is just awesome. Sun Ye…

Um. Well, I’m sure her sexiness would’ve gotten through had that baseball not hit her stylist on the head, right? Right? She doesn’t look that bad, actually, though I should point out that while it works for a large amount of idols (Ichii Sayaka, Kamei Eri, Mitsui Aika, Hirano Aya, Takahashi Ai, Ayu, etc), cutting your hair short doesn’t always enhance your sexiness. Wearing your pants up to your armpits doesn’t help either.

Anyway, I guess to illustrate the point of the song (which, for anyone who couldn’t tell, is that the Wonder Girls are smokin’ and they know it), Sun Mi tries to go about her daily life - but noes, every time she walks down a street, guys fall all over her and beg her to let them be her slaves. She tosses her hair and sighs, because she’s obviously too good for these peons.

She does let them buy her stuff, though. Like, a lot of stuff. Wow. Those guys must have a lot of dough but not a whole lot of a life.

Sun Mi turns out to be an ungrateful bitch and totally rejects the guys’ presents.

And is it just me, or does she look way too much like a gyaru? Wear darker lipstick, honey.

I love these two caps just because they’re so true. It doesn’t matter how cruel or picky she is, one blown kiss from an idol and you have to forgive her. Oh, Sun Mi, you are a tricky tricky thing. No wonder you get the most lines.

Sun Ye is totally a sneaky little minx, for which I love her. And her hair is gloriously and wondrously long and WHY THE HELL DID YOU CUT IT, BITCH? You can’t throw away hair like that! *smacksmack*
Ahem. Anyway.

Can I ask why she’s riding a bike? She’s a hot member of a hot girl group (or so they would have us believe), and she rides a bike? So Hee got a limo, Sun Mi’s going to get a fifty-pound diamond, Yoo Bin gets a pool, and Sun Ye gets a bike? There is just no justice in this video. At all.

As a note, I think that’s just a little too big for her.

Wow. Oh, wow. That has got to be one of the cutest things I have ever seen. It’s like this one time I walked into the Sanrio store and had to leave after five minutes because I kept getting the urge to just scoop up everything in there and hug it and never let it go. I mean, wow. I can’t look anymore.

Can I ask why there’s a stop sign on So Hee’s chest?

Actually, I was quite surprised by this single in that So Hee actually doesn’t sound too bad. I know there’s probably some studio magic going on, but if anyone remembers those few lines she sang in Tell Me, there’s a big difference. I don’t doubt that her singing is still pretty weak, but it sounds like she’s getting better. There’s a glut of cute but talentless girls out there, and it would be nice to have a few cute girls with the added bonus of actually being able to sing, right?

Ye Eun dyed her hair, which means I can finally tell her and Sun Ye apart…

Oh God, I love this. I wonder how much those guys were paid?

But this video actually comes with a twist, and it’s quite a good one at that:

Ye Eun is cheerleading, and another cheerleader comes along…

And all the guys follow her, leaving the “so hot” Ye Eun with only the crazy wota-like guy in the bleachers. (She looks appropriately freaked out.)

Meanwhile, So Hee is at her movie premiere, being cute and adorable…

And falls down! God, I love this video. Granted, she gets right back up and is like, “Wtf you saying bitch, I didn’t fall!” Whoever thought up this video, come marry me now.

Now it’s time for some Yoo Bin rapping action! As always, it’s the best part of the entire song, mostly because while the other WG are passable singers, Yoo Bin is a pretty damn good rapper. The only thing I don’t like is the “All the boys be lovin’ me, girls be hatin’ me” line. Isn’t that a Lindsay Lohan song? Paris Hilton? Britney Spears? All three?

Yoo Bin is hot though, I’ll give her that. Yoo Bin <3.

And just like in Sweet Valley, someone gets pushed into a pool. Yoo Bin gives him a 0. He wasn’t even trying.

So, the Wonder Girls are back, and they are hot. To be honest, I do like the song and I’m looking forward to the rest of the single. I love the video, especially the fact that Yoo Bin is given more screen time. So Hee’s improving and she’s as adorable as ever, Sun Ye might have an awful haircut but she’s still got it. Ye Eun dyed her hair, which both pleases and disappoints me - she looked lovely with black hair. On the upside, she looks good with lighter hair too, and I can finally tell her and Sun Ye apart. Sun Mi kind of bores me, but I’m sure there’s more to her than I’m giving credit for.

The main thing that’s beginning to irk me is JYP inserting himself into all the singles. We know you’re their producer. For God’s sake. Yes, we’re all fucking thrilled the Wonder Girls are back. I’d bet we’d all be more thrilled if you kept your trap shut in their songs.

Anyway, the song itself is very catchy. Almost ridiculously so. The lyrics are great and despite their new sexyhot image, WG can still poke fun at themselves, which is always something I like seeing in music. Music is serious business, yo. The instrumental is pretty bland and generic. You could probably make the same thing out of GarageBand or something. It’s a bad thing, but it doesn’t sway my opinion. “So Hot” is a good song and I’d say it’s a pretty solid lead for a comeback single. I’m looking forward to hearing the other two.

As far as the sexy goes, they’ve done an impressive job with it. I’d say Ye Eun is the sexiest, mostly because of those awesome red socks. Yoo Bin is in second, losing to the power of those great socks. Sun Mi and So Hee kind of run together for third, just because they aren’t that sexy, not yet. Cute? Yes. Definitely. Sexy? No, not really. Much as I love her, Sun Ye fails miserably and comes in way, way last. She’s great in the story parts of the video, but…

I’m sorry. I can’t give credit for this.

(thanks to epikstory for the caps~)