WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SERIOUS BUSINESS. CHIAKII ACTUALLY SITS HER ASS DOWN AND TALKS ABOUT HER FEELINGS. JUST A WARNING.

Well, 2008 is winding down. We’re getting ready for 2009. I can’t think of anything important that will be happening to me personally in 2009. I might get my learners’ permit or something. (I’m sure that’s such a good idea. Set Chiakii loose on the roads of San Francisco.)

However! Some blogs are choosing to honor the artists that they felt brought the awesome this year. Some are writing long, heartfelt posts about how 2008 did/didn’t live up to their expectations. Everyone will look back at pengie’s predictions for 2008 and see whether or not they came true.

But I’m not those blogs! Instead, I’m going to wrap up 2008 in dialogue format and be rude about all the releases I secretly loved. Because I am a bitch.

I actually did something like this in 2007. I called it “2007 in a Nutshell” (because I’m so creative). I didn’t finish it in time. Pity, too. There were quite a few gems in there.

So, Soap Bubble brings you…2008 in a Nutshell!

* Note: I really don’t remember half of what happened this year. And frankly, I don’t care about half of the stuff that did. Just warning you, in case something epic happened in August that skipped over. Read more »

Posted: December 31st, 2008 under album, avex, berryz koubou, boobs, c-ute, conspiracy theories, elder club, end of the year, h!p kids, hello! project, high-king, japanese, morning musume, ongaku gatas, perfume, v-u-den, wtf.
Comments: 9

…but for me, that idol is not Gocchin.

Which isn’t to say that I don’t love her to pieces. I do.

Maybe a little too much.

Though she’s been gone, her catchy music and mic stand molestation will remain with us H!P fans forever. So here’s to you, Gocchin. You indulged a lot of dirty fantasies and brought out a lot of inner lesbians. I’ll never forget you.

Or your boobs, for that matter.

(P.S. Update your fucking blog. Don’t let your badass header image go to waste.)

Posted: May 10th, 2008 under 510, boobs, elder club, eyecandy, hello! project, maki goto, photobook, sotsugyou.
Comments: 2

No, I’m kidding. Kind of. Ayaka of Coconuts Musume semifame has graduated. It was announced about five minutes ago, probably hours after she actually left. Read more »

Posted: April 29th, 2008 under coconuts musume, conspiracy theories, elder club, hello! project, sotsugyou, wtf.
Comments: 3

Yeah. That’s right. OnGatas loses yet another member, this time to education. Seriously, what is with this group? They’re losing girls faster than Coconuts Musume.

Read more »

Posted: April 29th, 2008 under elder club, h!p eggs, hello! project, mika mutou, ongaku gatas, sotsugyou.
Comments: 2

SO. Ongaku Gatas was formed and they released a single called “Narihajimeta Koi no BELL”. Then they released a single called “Yattarouze!”, a fairly mediocre album called “1st GOODSAL” and now Manoeri’s graduating.

I could care less. Read more »

Posted: March 9th, 2008 under album, elder club, h!p eggs, hello! project, ongaku gatas, pv, single.
Comments: 4

Okay. So. I am seriously one of the last people to ever cover anything in the blogosphere, because I’m shit lazy, and I’ve got all these drafts to finish and homework to do, but I’m taking some valuable time to say…

What the fuck?

Read more »

Posted: October 31st, 2007 under conspiracy theories, elder club, hello! project, maki goto, scandal, sotsugyou, wtf.
Comments: none

Well, apparently since Goto Maki discovered this beautiful thing called “classy sexy”, Biyuuden has decided to take up her “slutty sexy” mantle. As a matter of fact, if they sold higher, they could be the trio equivalent of Koda Kumi. To quote this random TV show I saw once: “Wear a bra…for the good of the country!”

Okay, fine. “Jaja Uma Paradise” is their newest single, though if you take the cover, the PV, and Biyuuden’s tendency to flaunt their assets, you can see how I came to this conclusion, can’t you? Particularly after seeing the pole-dancing on the back of the single. Whatever. Read more »

Posted: October 7th, 2007 under boobs, elder club, hello! project, pv, single, v-u-den.
Comments: none

And the amount of knocked-up H!P members just grows and grows! Ayappe, Sayaka, Heike Michiyo, Tsuji…and now Iida! I woke up this morning on and on my early morning Internet check I discovered this little tidbit of news from Hello!Online. But I had school and therefore had to refrain from falling over in shock until now. Should we call her Knocked-Up Kaorin? I don’t know, it doesn’t have the same ring as Knocked-Up Nono.

Kaorin has released her official statement, but it’s not known yet if she’s coming back to H!P or music at all after this. I think she might, especially because of the 10 anniversary unit now…which reminds me, what are they going to do about that? I think they’re going to go the Tsuji route, but who’s going to replace her? I mean, isn’t the point of the 10th anniversary unit to show how the group was at its start? I’d love to see them toss Yuko and Kei in there, but they’re too old now, right? Because it’s supposed to have members representing the original five, from 13 - 24. Then again, that idea is kinda shot since I think Koharu’s 14 now and I know Kaorin’s 25. I would LOVE to see some more of Yuko or Kei-chan. They need more exposure, dammit.

I am going to cruelly and shamelessly yank this screencap from Cult of Pop to illustrate “Morning Granddaughters”…damn, haven’t the H!P girls ever heard of birth control? Condoms? Anything? I mean, I’m very excited for Kaorin and all but…God. And we thought Gocchin was the horny one. I can understand if they were married and were planning to have kids…but man. I guess it must be hard to keep your, er, needs under control if you’re in such an occupation, but come on, Iida, you’re 25 years old. Don’t say you don’t know what a condom is.

Posted: July 6th, 2007 under elder club, hello! project, morning musume, scandal, wtf.
Comments: none

So a few days ago, I downloaded a whole slew of H!P videos to watch what I missed. So after a few mind-numbing minutes (hours?) of music, I get up to stretch my legs and when I return, I’ve made it to the Puripuri Pink song, “Hitoshirezu Mune wo Kanaderu Yoru no Aki.” (Here on known only as “Hitoshirezu”, you could not pay me to write that whole name out again.) Read more »

Posted: June 4th, 2007 under elder club, hello! project, pv, shuffles, single.
Comments: none