…she’d totally sound like this.

I’m going to say something right now: I hate Cinderella. I really do. It’s my least favorite fairy tale ever, mostly because all Cinderella really does is bitch about having to pull her own weight around the house until a magical fairy godmother comes down to help her out and everything is fixed. And all Cinderella has to do is wash a few floors. (And she’s one of the 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived. Above Luke Skywalker and Batman. This is an injustice.)

Or maybe I’m just bitter because Cinderella stole Prince Charming from Snow White (who is not even on the aforementioned list, grr.) I love Snow White. Maybe it’s just because her story is more macabre and gruesome than any of the other Disney princesses (especially the evil stepmother wanting to carve out her heart and eat it for dinner, because it’s not a breakfast kind of thing, right?) or just because Snow White is the Disney princess.

Either way, I love, love, love Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, so I’ll put aside my dislike for the title character and enjoy the fact that my favorite group is going to be performing it. Though Takahashi deserves so much better than Cinderella. Whore.

Anyway.

I didn’t think I’d like High-King, either, despite me being in love with three of the five members. Tanaka Reina, the leader? Gag me. That really must be awkward, if you think about it. Reina’s used to listening to Takahashi, and all of a sudden Takahashi has to listen to her? I’m sure they’re both very amicable about it, but it cracks me up. And Maeda Yuuka is cute, but who the hell is she? Why can’t we get some Yasuda Kei action, for once? (Kei-chan would make an awesome Cinderella. And you know it.)

Then the preview came out.

Shit, this song is good. It’s like “Kowerenai Ai ga Hoshii no”, but no one is saying “High-King in da house”, which means that I can actually listen to this song in public! I personally find all of Takahashi’s (I can’t call her Aichan anymore. Not after her crazy hotness in Resonant Blue) hat- and face-touching part of her appeal, but I can see how one would find it annoying. I like Reina’s hair (and that’s the nicest thing I’m going to say about her in this review, so if you’re a Reina fan, you might want to leave now). Maeda Yuuka is adorable. Yajima is…is…my God, I love this girl. And…

I didn’t want to make this joke, but I can’t help myself. O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN. I am worshiping you right now. Shimizu Saki is about to join Linlin in my closet and I’ll feed her Eggs for breakfast. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’ve never really seen her outside of Berryz, but I’m really impressed with her. She doesn’t do much here, but whenever she does do something, she does it well. She fits in really well with the “cool, urban” theme of High-King, unsurprisingly, if you remember the 2007 summer performance of the aforementioned “Kowarenai”. Her hat, her outfit, her lines…she just looks so right in this unit. The other members seem to be there for the benefit of the “King” idea - Takahashi leader of Momusu, Tanaka one of the front girls, Maimi the leader of C-ute, Maeda Yuuka…she’s just cute. But I could almost swear that the second Captain was put in the group, they decided to use the cool image instead of the usual H!P cute one. She fills the image better than any of the other members, even the newly-kakkoii Takahashi.

Which isn’t to say the other members aren’t trying their darnedest. Takitty’s moving farther and farther away from her former “generically cute” personality (or lack thereof) to a more cool and, dare I say it, sexy one. It’s the hair, I tell you.

Maimi really can do no wrong in my eyes, so if there’s something that’s obviously horrible and wrong with her performance, I’m not noticing it. I’ll write a post about how much I love Ishikawa Rika before I blaspheme against Maimi! Anyway. There’s not really anything about Maimi that causes her to fit in more or less with the image of High-King. She’s the sporty Kid, the one that’s good at running and kicks everyone’s asses during Sports Festivals. Other than that, there’s nothing that particularly defines her as an idol. While she doesn’t detract from the group, she doesn’t contribute to it either. Well, except for giving it her Maimi awesomeness. But that’s unfortunately moot in this discussion.

I wasn’t too enthusiastic about Maeda Yuuka at first, if only because I thought they were only bringing her in because she’s cute. Which I’m sure is part of it, but while she’s not the best, most awesome singer I’ve ever heard, she’s pretty good. And she’s trying, she really is. I have to give her points if only for that. She actually succeeds, for the most part. I don’t know if I could say she’s cool, but she’s bordering it. As far as Eggs go, she’s one of the talented ones. She reminds me a lot of Momoko, which is a good thing. I have to keep reminding myself she’s 13 - she looks younger. I don’t know much about the technicalities of singing and dancing, but from my perspective she’s doing pretty well. She could be better in all respects, but I think we can chalk that up to inexperience. Despite her age and lack of exposure before now, she holds up surprisingly well amongst her seniors. I have hopes for this one.

And that brings us to Reina. Reina, Reina, Reina. You thought you could get away with it, didn’t you? You thought all your glaring in Resonant Blue would just make us forget all that winking you’ve been doing since “Chokkan 2.” Well, I’ve got news for you: H!P fans never forget. There’s a reason Fukuda Asuka and Yanagihara Hiromi still have fans. So don’t try to flounce around in your little pigtails pretending it never happened. You might’ve fooled everyone at Up-Front into thinking you’re a badass yankii, but I won’t be so easily taken in. I know the truth, Reina!

But really, she isn’t even trying. Even Maeda Yuuka’s putting some effort into seeming like she’s a hip and cool idol. She’s the bee’s knees, yo. But Reina’s just smiling and doing her cat’s eye face at us. I want a kakkoii group, and that’s not going to work out if one of the members isn’t cooperating. I know you can glare Reina, you’ve even got those crazy slanted eyebrows working in your favor. Use them to your advantage!

This wouldn’t upset me as much if it weren’t for the dance. I like the dance quite a bit, though there are some parts where the moves are obviously recycled. But unless you’re an H!P fan that spends too much time watching their PVs, I bet you wouldn’t notice this, so I don’t really mind. But the dance follows up on the R&B/hip-hop feel of the song, and like most R&B/hip-hop dances and videos, it benefits from not smiling while you’re doing it. Though, actually, no one manages to get this part right - Takahashi covers it up by doing a very self-satisfied smile, which is the only smile appropriate for this style of music. Everyone else just can’t contain their joy, and I don’t blame them, they’re pretty kickass. But still.

Saki looks great in that hat of hers, even if Reina’s tails are sprouting out of her head. I’m starting to think she’s too good for my closet. Maybe I’ll put her in my toybox instead.

Not that any of the others are bad…

Yes, Reina, 12 is indeed made up of a 1 and a 2. I don’t know why you feel the need to point it out to us. The other members have caught on that this is supposed to be a kakkoii kind of single, and they refrain from most goofy antics - but Reina is just not getting it. Yes, you can smile, and even a seductive kind of wink would be appreciated - but holding up your fingers? That’s Kirari “Balalaika” stuff right there, and it does not look good in this PV.

And I actually like the spinning table. Am I the only one? It’s a bit jerky and disjointed, but it works well overall in the PV. Well, I think so anyway. I haven’t seen the edited version yet, and I’m not sure if I’m going to. The original works fine with me.

Anyway, the song itself is an acquired taste. At first, I thought it was okay, but nothing really special. Like Resonant Blue, it’s somewhat disjointed, with the song slowing down, speeding up, holding notes and suddenly dropping them - generally kind of yanking you around while you listen. There’s an abruptness that needs some adjusting to get used to.

But it grows on you…like fungus. The chanting quality of the song is quite catchy and addictive, and the blend of high and low voices is pleasant, even if you don’t particularly like the individual voices themselves. The Tsunkuvoices are minimal, thankfully; and the Michishige Sayumis and Ishikawa Rikas of the collective are not present. This is great unit overall, and they were given a great song to work with.

And simple as the PV is, the hairstyles and clothes are great. Maimi’s ponytail is love, as is Takahashi’s hat. Reina’s skirt is inappropriately short, and I can’t say that’s a bad thing.

But great as the A-side is, “Kioku no Meiro” is just a million kinds of great. I can see why it’s not the A-side - it’s not particularly different than anything else in the H!P collective. But it is a great song. Takahashi’s voice is clearer and sweeter than it is on the title track, Captain and Maimi get more lines, which is never a bad thing (and I’m still waiting for my Captain photobook, UFA), and even little Maeda Yuuka gets a good chunk of lines and Moses on a cracker if I didn’t know that was her, I would swear that Momoko snuck her way onto the single.

I guess I’m disappointed that this was only a one-shot unit. They could be so awesome, it seems a shame they’re only getting one single. Who knows when we’ll next see Captain outside of Berryz? And Maimi’s a big part of C-ute, certainly, but she just doesn’t knock Suzuki Airi off the top in terms of line distribution and attention. Maeda Yuuka’s just an Egg, which means that after this, maybe we’ll see her cute little face backup dancing for one split second in the next concert DVD.

It’s not fair, really.

(PS. CHIAKII IS FIFTEEN TODAY. ;D)