(I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever be able to catch up on the J-pop world. Even if I don’t, that’s okay…I guess.)

So the general consensus about “Hana wo Pu~n!” is that even if we hate it, some eight-year-old out there probably adores it - hell, we saw that video clip of a whole crowd of uncoordinated children doing the “pu~n” moves along with Koharu and Mai.

Of course, I can’t see my eight-year-old self enjoying this song at all. This could be because I was a rather odd kid - I didn’t watch TV or play video games. I spent all my time reading. So maybe my childhood was warped or something, because I know for a fact that a lot of kids in my third-grade class might come close to worshiping this song if it had been around in ye olde 2001.

Actually, when I was little, I used to listen to Radio Disney a lot. I liked music, had no CDs, and this was the only station I knew because it was the only one our teachers would let us listen to. Radio Disney music annoyed my dad a LOT, and he used to parody the songs they played and sing them around the house. I can easily imagine him doing that to this song. Even if he didn’t know what it meant. (Actually, admitting that I used to listen to Radio Disney to the entire blogosphere embarasses me a lot less than remembering the parodies my dad used to sing. I’m trying to figure out whether it’s because my dad is totally embarrassing, or his singing just sucks that much…um, I love my family. Really, I do.)

And oh my God, there goes Koharu again with those totally awesome pigtails. Koha’s hair was MADE for pigtails like that, all soft and shiny looking. I am having a total spaz attack right now. Those pigtails are just so goddamn PERFECT.

I’m very mixed on this song. I really don’t like listening to it, and yet I find myself doing so, just so I can listen to the “Haaanaaa haaaanaaa hana hana hanahanahanahanahanaHANA WO PU~N!” at the beginning. The song isn’t catchy in the same way other H!P songs are, but that “hana wo PU~N” really sticks with you.

I really do not understand why they are making all those squares and hearts in this video. Maybe I need a translation, because I can’t tell what this has to do with noses.

Those animals also kind of disturb me. Who the hell is IN those suits, and how much did they get paid to do that? H!P has had some pretty weird PVs, but I’m starting to think “Hana wo Pu~n!” is the weirdest. Even the Berryz’ imaginary basketball can’t top this.

Okay, seriously, am I the only one that finds that swinging, snotty nose in the background totally distracting? (Everyone talks about how disgusting it is, but I haven’t read a blog yet where someone mentions staring at the nose instead of the girls…) I mean, I can’t even look at Koharu and Mai (not that I want to, what with those pants) because I’m totally hypnotized by that NOSE. It’s…it’s horrible. Terrible. And so goddamn fascinating!

It’s kind of sad to watch, really, how they try to make Koha and Mai the same height in the close-ups, but once they get to the full-body shots, the height difference is painfully obvious.

“Futari wa NS”, on the other hand, is very nice. It reminds me a little of “Koi ING” - slower than the typical H!P song (especially one from Koharu and Mai) but not as slow as Ayaya’s ballads are. (I have, of course, never managed to get more than halfway through Ayaya’s ballads, so I could be wrong.) I don’t think Koharu and Mai’s voices are suited to it, but they carry it off pretty well. I’m also really fond of the way that they do that “Wa-ta-shi noooooo~” It’s just one of the parts in the song that stick out to me.

This song also has the added bonus of remaining youthful while not crossing the line into WTFville. Youthful doesn’t always have to mean crack-induced. Just saying.

I don’t really like the magnet in “Futari wa NS”. It’s so simple and comes somewhat close to elegant (considering who’s singing, anyway), but then they bust out that gigantic magnet and it just loses whatever maturity it managed to have.

On the other hand, I adore their dresses. Pink and blue seem to be duo colors: we saw them in W and we’re seeing them again in Kira*Pika. Maybe Kira*Pika is like a replacement W? Certainly they have around the same maturity that W had, though I don’t think Koharu and Mai are the BFF forever!!1!11!!eleventyone!!1 that Tsujikago were made out to be. (Even the song has that sort of “through thick and thin” vibe.) It’s starting to seem that Up-Front is in a rush to mold them into best-friend duos and other kinds of personalities, instead of letting the girls’ personas grow naturally. I mean, one could argue with Takitty that she needs to be molded into something, because leaving her alone for six years hasn’t done crap, but Aika and the pandas are still new, so Up-Front better back off on their part.

Though actually, after watching several “Onna ni Sachi Are”-related performances, appearances, and making-of type things, Takitty seems to finally be growing into her own. She seems much more quirky and demanding of attention than she has in the past.

BUT ANYWAY. This is about Kira*Pika.

I also really can’t believe it took me this long (kind of like how it took me forever to figure out why everyone called Momoko “the peachy one”) but I finally figured out the Kira*Pika thing: besides the whole Kirarin Revolution thing, kira-kira is Japanese for “glittering” and pika-pika is Japanese for “sparkling”. Or something along those lines. Ahahaha, Chiakii iz so smart.

I’m probably going to get burned at a stake for saying this, but I’m not all that fond of Hagiwara Mai. She just doesn’t suck me in the way Maimi does or Megukami (*cries* I ain’t over her either) did. I love Koharu to death, but this unit isn’t doing much for me so far. “Hana wo Pu~n!” is fun and…snotty and all, but in the end this unit hasn’t left much of an impression on me. I can’t figure out the hype around Mai. Her vocals aren’t that great yet, and her personality doesn’t seem to have developed. In another few years, I might be squeeing over her the way I do over the other H!P girls, but right now I’m not that into her.

Even still, I think Kira*Pika could be a little like the second coming of Minimoni. Certainly “Hana wo Pu~n!” caught the kids’ attention. I’m not holding out hope for a string of books, dolls, and TV shows, but I’m not giving up on Kira*Pika. A little more Kleenex, and they could be well on their way to…well, not sucking.

Just, please. Next time there’s a swinging nose in the background, don’t let snot drip from it. That’s just too much information.