So once again, I come in late with a review and a look at Gyaruru and their first single - “Boom Boom Meccha Macho!”. I saw the original version on YouTube (or at least the dance shot) but I only downloaded the Story Version. Because if Jpop is going to eat away at my hard drive, then I’m only getting stuff that entertains me.

This review was delayed by my stupid VLC player that didn’t want to cap for me, and by schoolwork. (Summer school is a bitch. The end.) And, well, I was trying to dredge up something to say about Gyaruru. However, it just wasn’t coming. So in order to get this out before the single is a year old, here we go: I love Sonene. She’s easily my favorite of the group. Not for her talent - her singing voice is very odd and her dancing is…shitty…but:

SHE MAKES SOME OF THE BEST FACIAL EXPRESSIONS EVER. Really. From “Sonene EAT CAKE!” to her sad faces, Sonene is just very, very cute. Really. Amimi and Abebe occasionally look a little odd doing their smiles or Amimi psycho faces, but Sonene always just looks so cute. I mean, I just wanna pinch her cheeks. Except, you know, she’s like twelve years older than me.

Abebe looks so much like Nacchi here. I know they’re sisters, but not all sisters look alike. After all, I remember DLing Asami’s photobooks a while back and being totally surprised at how well she pulled off the sexy. Which isn’t to say Nacchi isn’t attractive, but Nacchi sexing it up is like when you see those Disney child stars doing porno and trying to break out of their goody-goody persona. No sex appeal. Whatsoever. Asami on the other hand…maybe she hasn’t been fronting a girlpop group for about seven years, but she manages to pull off a more feline look without getting caught in the “she-did-WHAT?!” kind of trap.

This single is very pointless and silly. One of the lines in their songs goes “Para para odoru”, which should hint that this is right up there with “Minimoni. Jankenpyon!” in terms of silliness. Only, of course, this is a group of girls that are all over the age of 15, so…well, I can respect it more than them taking off all their clothes, so we’ll leave it at that.

After a while though, this song can get tiring. After endlessly listening it for about a week, hearing that “Meccha BOOM BOOM FIRE!” stopped making me bounce around. So I put it to rest for a little and let myself skip over it, instead torturing myself with a few mind-numbing days of old-school Morning Musume (I can’t be the only person that doesn’t particularly enjoy Koi no Dance Site, can I?) and a splash of Esthero. (Wikked Lil’ Grrls still makes me shamelessly shake it, though…but that’s an entry for another time.)But, then it popped up again, and I was thrilled to hear it. I don’t know any of the moves, so I just did some of those “Go Girl”-esque arm movements and it worked out just fine. You know, if you’re ever para-para-ing and you don’t know the moves, just do the “Go Girl” dance, because it works with everything. I would know, I do it through pretty much all upbeat H!P songs. (I do not, however, recommend trying it during “Last Kiss” or “Shiawase desu ka?”. Just FYI.)

What I want to know is: would I like this better if Nono was here? After all, she is my second-favorite member of H!P of all time. It’d be cruel and unusual of me to say that I don’t want her in my base, killing my d00ds as a part of Gyaruru, but I can’t help but wonder if I would give up finally hearing something out of Abe Asami for the wild card of the fourth gen. After all, she’s certainly had plenty of lines in her Momusu days, and W made fair use of both the girls. You know, before one of them started smoking like a chimney and the other one decided to pop out a Fetus Musume. Abe Asami has made music, of course, but where I could find this music, I don’t know. Certainly not my Japantown. Asami is no Nacchi (from what I could hear, anyway) but her voice probably pwns Tsuji’s, if you’re looking at it from an unbiased and scholarly standpoint. (Which I’m not.)

A lot of people have been saying that Abebe doesn’t smile at all and doesn’t look like she enjoys being there. While I do agree that she doesn’t seem to completely enjoy being tossed into the group because they lost - ahem - Tsujiji, she’s certainly smiling. Still, I’m hoping that as she continues in Gyaruru, she won’t be given Tsuji leftovers. She’s probably wearing Tsuji’s costume and sunglasses here because of the suddenness of Knocked-Up Nono and the rush that was now on the single…but I hope that they just don’t go over their future plans for the group, crossing out Tsuji’s name and writing in Abe’s. I hope they rework them so that it’s not Abe-replacing-Tsuji anymore, just…Abebe.Would I like to hear more from Gyaruru? Yes. Definitely. I’m sad that this only reached #15, but as long as I can listen to it, I’ll be fine. Would I like to see more from Gyaruru? Only if they give Abebe a reason to not look so bitter, and only if Sonene doesn’t look like a stick in the breeze when she dances.

Sadly enough, I’ve found myself pondering for weeks over what to write here. I do so adore this single and Sonene, but…I find myself at a lack of things to say. I want to care so much more about Gyaruru than I actually do. I hope that they’ll worm their way into my hearts the way so many others have managed to (Sayu and Koharu are prime examples of this), because I think this was a pretty good single. I think it’s the lack of enthusiasm. The only person that’s bouncing along like she hasn’t a care in the world is Amimi - and why shouldn’t she? She can sing, she can dance, it’s all the same to her. In the meanwhile, Sonene’s very obviously self-conscious about her singing and dancing (no Utaban for her for a long, long time…) and Abebe just looks like she couldn’t care less - after all, she’s just the replacement. They don’t have the entertaining appeal that Momusu or Minimoni or other Tsunku-produced creations (granted, all H!P ones, but since we’ve come to think of H!P = Tsunku, is there even a difference anymore?) have - and yes, the current Momusu still has it. I think I’ll write about that later.In conclusion: Gyaruru needs time. Time, and cake. Mmm…cake.