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Thursday, May 05, 2005
I Watch Too Much Cable News, Apparently...
So it's early morning, I'm getting ready to write a long blog entry, I look up at the television screen and find myself asking aloud, "What the hell is Carol Lin doing on Headline News?"
That is, I'm used to seeing Carol on CNN proper, not CNN Headline News. And she's covering the so-called Runaway Bride story, which strikes me as a big non-newsworthy joke. So for a moment - just a moment - I was afraid that Carol had been demoted or something.
I honestly didn't realize I cared this much about Carol Lin. I'm sure this assignment is considered important and, of course, CNN proper and Headline News are sister channels so I shouldn't be surprised to see her on both. (Though the truly big guns of CNN don't seem to make that crossover, do they?)
Though now that I think of it, it's only natural to develop media relationships with various news anchors if you watch cable news often enough. I find myself switching between the different major channels: CNN mostly, but also smaller doses of Headline News, Fox News, and a very little bit of MSNBC. And I prefer some news personalities over others.
So here's some very quick, very biased assessments of various cable news personalities... I see each of them pretty often, so I guess I'm entitled to an opinion.
Judy Woodruff (CNN) - One hot bitch. I love Inside Politics and she always rocks my world.
Candy Crowley (CNN) - Love her reportage and her knowledge on American politics. I'd make out with Judy Woodruff in the back of a Camaro, but would hang out with Candy Crowley to talk and go shopping. And when Judy's not looking, make out with her, too.
Anderson Cooper (CNN) - Loved him on The Mole but am less thrilled by his current work. Was shocked to learn he's Gloria Vanderbilt's son but that explains a lot, doesn't it?
Bill Hemmer and Soledad O'Brien (CNN) - The brother/sister morning team, with loveable cranky uncle Jack Cafferty (who I remember on local New York news way-back-when). Don't watch them as often, given the time lag between CNN's morning and my own, but I always find them soothing.
Chris Janssing (MSNBC) - I remember when she was Chris Kapostasy on NBC in Albany, back in the mid-1990s! I even got an autographed photo of her, though never one of her co-anchor, the very sexy (in a blocky white male kind of way) Ed Dague. I like to watch her, mostlybecause it's great to see her moving up to the big-time. (Is cable news "the big time"?)
Marc Abrams (MSNBC) - First noticed him during the 2000 Supreme Court's election of the U.S. President, reading the court rulings at top speed with some other guy as they were handed to him. Often gives the self-righteous impression that he thinks he's hot shit and while he's good, he's not that good.
Bill Schneider (CNN) - Love his reports on Inside Politics, takes in the big picture and presents it with a knowing wink. Very warm personality, seems to have a fondness for the absurdities of modern political life.
Judge Napolitano (FOX) - The more time passes, the more I like him. Best thing about him is that he may be a conservative, but he doesn't let his politics get in the way of making fair assessments of various judicial decisions - sometimes putting him at odds with Fox's implicit politics.
Shepard Smith (FOX) - Another hot bitch. While a bit stiff at times, he's one of the warmer personalities on Fox, very likeable - especially when he lets a snarky comment or two into his news reads. That J-Lo clip is pretty cool, too.
Miles O'Brien (CNN) - My man! He rocks because he's a space geek and unashamed of it, he's got a very likeable personality, and his jokes never get in the way of solid newsreading.
Ken Olbermann (MSNBC) - I swear to God, he should be a standup comedian or something. He's like Eugene Levy's smarter, more arrogant brother.
Kitty Pilgrim (CNN) - Ever time I hear her name, I think of the celebrity biographer.
Bill O'Reilly (FOX) - I like him, I really do. That said, I absolutely hate when he claims - quite often - that he's being objective, this is a No Spin Zone, ad nauseam. His greatest strength is a plain-speaking way of looking at the news and developing a point of view, so why not admit that he does what's obvious to any viewer: place judgement and hold people accountable based on that judgement?
Lou Dobbs (CNN) - Big bear of a guy who seems to like playing the stern father to just about any of his interviewees.
Sanjay Gupta (CNN) - He is dreamy, isn't he?
Wolf Blitzer (CNN) - He strikes me as a likeable doofus, the kind of guy who was a waterboy in high school and tried to hang out with the football team if they'd let him. That said, he does have a sense of humor about himself, as I once saw when he was on Jon Stewart's Daily Show.
And I'm only scratching the surface here! There's the FOX NEWS morning gang, whose names I don't know but have the most interesting and lively talk among morning shows (it helps they don't have to talk Jack Cafferty off his high dudgeon every day, unlike poor Bill and Soledad), Aaron Brown, Andrea Koppel, Carol Costello and her doppelganger Daryn Kagan (at least I used to get them mixed up a lot), hottie Betty Nguyen, the whole Crossfire Crew with the treasonous Robert Novak, the wannabe-Hannity blowhards like Scarborough and that Middle America guy... Oh, cable news, you're too good to me.
It's a good thing I don't watch the Weather Channel anymore.
That is, I'm used to seeing Carol on CNN proper, not CNN Headline News. And she's covering the so-called Runaway Bride story, which strikes me as a big non-newsworthy joke. So for a moment - just a moment - I was afraid that Carol had been demoted or something.
I honestly didn't realize I cared this much about Carol Lin. I'm sure this assignment is considered important and, of course, CNN proper and Headline News are sister channels so I shouldn't be surprised to see her on both. (Though the truly big guns of CNN don't seem to make that crossover, do they?)
Though now that I think of it, it's only natural to develop media relationships with various news anchors if you watch cable news often enough. I find myself switching between the different major channels: CNN mostly, but also smaller doses of Headline News, Fox News, and a very little bit of MSNBC. And I prefer some news personalities over others.
So here's some very quick, very biased assessments of various cable news personalities... I see each of them pretty often, so I guess I'm entitled to an opinion.
Judy Woodruff (CNN) - One hot bitch. I love Inside Politics and she always rocks my world.
Candy Crowley (CNN) - Love her reportage and her knowledge on American politics. I'd make out with Judy Woodruff in the back of a Camaro, but would hang out with Candy Crowley to talk and go shopping. And when Judy's not looking, make out with her, too.
Anderson Cooper (CNN) - Loved him on The Mole but am less thrilled by his current work. Was shocked to learn he's Gloria Vanderbilt's son but that explains a lot, doesn't it?
Bill Hemmer and Soledad O'Brien (CNN) - The brother/sister morning team, with loveable cranky uncle Jack Cafferty (who I remember on local New York news way-back-when). Don't watch them as often, given the time lag between CNN's morning and my own, but I always find them soothing.
Chris Janssing (MSNBC) - I remember when she was Chris Kapostasy on NBC in Albany, back in the mid-1990s! I even got an autographed photo of her, though never one of her co-anchor, the very sexy (in a blocky white male kind of way) Ed Dague. I like to watch her, mostlybecause it's great to see her moving up to the big-time. (Is cable news "the big time"?)
Marc Abrams (MSNBC) - First noticed him during the 2000 Supreme Court's election of the U.S. President, reading the court rulings at top speed with some other guy as they were handed to him. Often gives the self-righteous impression that he thinks he's hot shit and while he's good, he's not that good.
Bill Schneider (CNN) - Love his reports on Inside Politics, takes in the big picture and presents it with a knowing wink. Very warm personality, seems to have a fondness for the absurdities of modern political life.
Judge Napolitano (FOX) - The more time passes, the more I like him. Best thing about him is that he may be a conservative, but he doesn't let his politics get in the way of making fair assessments of various judicial decisions - sometimes putting him at odds with Fox's implicit politics.
Shepard Smith (FOX) - Another hot bitch. While a bit stiff at times, he's one of the warmer personalities on Fox, very likeable - especially when he lets a snarky comment or two into his news reads. That J-Lo clip is pretty cool, too.
Miles O'Brien (CNN) - My man! He rocks because he's a space geek and unashamed of it, he's got a very likeable personality, and his jokes never get in the way of solid newsreading.
Ken Olbermann (MSNBC) - I swear to God, he should be a standup comedian or something. He's like Eugene Levy's smarter, more arrogant brother.
Kitty Pilgrim (CNN) - Ever time I hear her name, I think of the celebrity biographer.
Bill O'Reilly (FOX) - I like him, I really do. That said, I absolutely hate when he claims - quite often - that he's being objective, this is a No Spin Zone, ad nauseam. His greatest strength is a plain-speaking way of looking at the news and developing a point of view, so why not admit that he does what's obvious to any viewer: place judgement and hold people accountable based on that judgement?
Lou Dobbs (CNN) - Big bear of a guy who seems to like playing the stern father to just about any of his interviewees.
Sanjay Gupta (CNN) - He is dreamy, isn't he?
Wolf Blitzer (CNN) - He strikes me as a likeable doofus, the kind of guy who was a waterboy in high school and tried to hang out with the football team if they'd let him. That said, he does have a sense of humor about himself, as I once saw when he was on Jon Stewart's Daily Show.
And I'm only scratching the surface here! There's the FOX NEWS morning gang, whose names I don't know but have the most interesting and lively talk among morning shows (it helps they don't have to talk Jack Cafferty off his high dudgeon every day, unlike poor Bill and Soledad), Aaron Brown, Andrea Koppel, Carol Costello and her doppelganger Daryn Kagan (at least I used to get them mixed up a lot), hottie Betty Nguyen, the whole Crossfire Crew with the treasonous Robert Novak, the wannabe-Hannity blowhards like Scarborough and that Middle America guy... Oh, cable news, you're too good to me.
It's a good thing I don't watch the Weather Channel anymore.

