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Thursday, May 05, 2005
The American Idol Scandal
Well, after being bogged down by such factors as work, writer’s block, and sexual frustration (read: deprivation), I have managed to overcome these obstacles, at least temporarily, to write my first entry in this journal. I would like to start by first off thanking Ray for the opportunity to join him in his endeavor, and I hope to do my best in writing entertaining entries and avoid embarrassing him. However, I cannot guarantee that I can accomplish the former or prevent the latter.
Truth be told, I wrote a column earlier, but it came out too rehearsed, it just did not seem honest, so I went back to the drawing board. Like the obligatory morning bowel movement, or self-gratification session, out came this stream of consciousness discharge that you are reading. Initially, I was going to write columns about things that I enjoy, movies, TV shows, books, etc, then make some recommendations, and pretentious musings that attempt to add some cosmic significance to the proceedings. However, I figured that coming out during May Sweeps, I had this epiphany that this entry warranted something of much greater importance- American Idol.
While I began to write this, that Primetime Live Special dealing with the whole Corey Clark mess was on. I will say right off the bat that who knows and who really cares whether or not he gave Paula Abdul the chance to fake an orgasm with him. After further shortening the remainder of my life watching the show, what I do know, and what is true beyond reproach, is that Corey Clark is about as dumb a pile of shit as there is possible while still qualifying as Homo Sapien. I think this guy could have been in flagrante delicto with Paula Poundstone and not know the difference. Was this guy actually talking during the interview? Hopefully he’ll use all the money he is going to make and schedule some sign language classes. Maybe he could use his celebrity to have Koko the Gorilla teach him something useful, she’s clearly smarter.
Hawaii’s own Jordan Segundo was also on the show, so Abdul would not have to be the only whore on the program. Of course, it was not easy to find Jordan, because he sat there without saying anything. God forbid he should express an opinion and piss off his fan. Someone send this guy a pearl necklace.
Well, Liz Chun is on with the sports report so I will sign off to watch her and be reduced to a catatonic stupor by her intoxicating aura. So, thanks for reading my first entry and I’ll be back soon for…uh… Liz…
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Truth be told, I wrote a column earlier, but it came out too rehearsed, it just did not seem honest, so I went back to the drawing board. Like the obligatory morning bowel movement, or self-gratification session, out came this stream of consciousness discharge that you are reading. Initially, I was going to write columns about things that I enjoy, movies, TV shows, books, etc, then make some recommendations, and pretentious musings that attempt to add some cosmic significance to the proceedings. However, I figured that coming out during May Sweeps, I had this epiphany that this entry warranted something of much greater importance- American Idol.
While I began to write this, that Primetime Live Special dealing with the whole Corey Clark mess was on. I will say right off the bat that who knows and who really cares whether or not he gave Paula Abdul the chance to fake an orgasm with him. After further shortening the remainder of my life watching the show, what I do know, and what is true beyond reproach, is that Corey Clark is about as dumb a pile of shit as there is possible while still qualifying as Homo Sapien. I think this guy could have been in flagrante delicto with Paula Poundstone and not know the difference. Was this guy actually talking during the interview? Hopefully he’ll use all the money he is going to make and schedule some sign language classes. Maybe he could use his celebrity to have Koko the Gorilla teach him something useful, she’s clearly smarter.
Hawaii’s own Jordan Segundo was also on the show, so Abdul would not have to be the only whore on the program. Of course, it was not easy to find Jordan, because he sat there without saying anything. God forbid he should express an opinion and piss off his fan. Someone send this guy a pearl necklace.
Well, Liz Chun is on with the sports report so I will sign off to watch her and be reduced to a catatonic stupor by her intoxicating aura. So, thanks for reading my first entry and I’ll be back soon for…uh… Liz…
Post a Comment
I like the "dumb pile of shit" part especially.
And isn't it strange that we both wrote about newscasters today? Maybe they're the supermodels of the information age.
well I have to agree with you Ian.
Corey Clark needs a life and it is "dumb pile of shit"
I just can not believe ABC bothered to air Corey Clark. A person who supposedly got arrested because he hit his sister? I wonder if he is a woman abuser? I think he needs Anger Management class and some counseling. Still sour he got kicked out of American Idol and was not able to get money... Who is going to buy his CD now? I hope America will be smart and will not buy his book or his CD. As a woman I have to say he is disgraceful. And his mother saying she is upset at Paula. Please how did you raise your son? I remember he partied the night before the audition while everyone else practice. He got drunk and was acting stupid.. please if you can say something of Paula Abdul. take care of yourself first.
Leave Paula alone.. she is a lovely lady.. I hope she does not loose her job over this if she does I think Corey Clark should be banned from the music world. he really does not deserve to be around. I guess he is a boy and not a man because a true man would not do this to a woman.
As for Paula Abdul fans.. I hope they stick with her..
As on the Reggie and Kelly show..
it was said that Corey had no right to do that and he is a looser..
I agree...
hope people will be smart enough and ignore this rumor..