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Thursday, April 28, 2005

First Benny Hill, Now This: Britain's Happy Slapping Trend

Saw it on cable news and couldn't believe it: in the UK there's a trend among some youth called "happy slapping" which is basically slapping or mugging a stranger and recording it on one's video cel phone.

My first reaction is: how appalling. I mean, this is assault, plain and simple. I hope that everyone who does this gets caught and does hard time in jail. And while I'm at it, I hope they get sodomized while in jail, give them a real taste of violated privacy.

My second reaction is: British kids are pussies. They can't do drive-bys (gun control laws) and they won't pass around homegrown porno like any thinking adolescent, so instead they resort to prankster-level violence of the lowest imagination. There's more than a slight whiff of low-class hooliganism to this behavior. There are better ways to use technology - even better anti-social ways, let's face it - and this is just idiotic. America has Jackass and its ilk,where people do themselves bodily harm - and play pranks on others that take some thought, such as smearing shit on a dollar bill and leaving it for someone to pick up. At least those examples of homebrewed media are cooler and actually worth watching in a morbid train-wreck kind of way. In comparison, the slap-happy Happy Slappers of the UK are unimaginative, thuggish, and ultimately boring. I'd even say that it's further proof of why Great Britain has lost empire and influence on the world stage: even their petty-minded media-whoring crimes don't measure up to American standards.

It's like A Clockwork Orange beaten down with a dumb stick. And a no-style stick. And a second dumb stick.

Of course, this second reaction is the reprehensible, raised-in-a-violent-America kind of reaction, but I felt that had to be said as much as the first one.

And really, shouldn't the term "happy slapping" be a reference to masturbation?



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