Call me cynical, but the political tensions among prominent attendees for the Pope's funeral sounds a lot like any other major family funeral. Everyone is gathering for the death of a now-universally beloved father (or uncle, depending on your faith), and all the bad blood among the living is dredged back up again. Previous name-calling hasn't been forgotten: U.S. called Iran an "axis of evil" while Iran called U.S. "the great Satan"; Condi said bad things about Cuba, Cuba sniped back at the U.S. Zimbabwe manages to praise the deceased and at the same time insult the richer, more pushier relations in the family of man (George Bush and Tony Blair). Some relatives - like Turkey and Armenia - haven't talked to each other in a long time and will proceed not to do so under these circumstances. Some relatives - Taiwan - suck up to the deceased as much as possible, hoping to benefit in the eyes of the living.

The irony, of course, is that the deceased was a man who truly wanted everyone to come together, to be at peace, to make the world a better place. But like wayward children everywhere, these political heads of state and dignitaries are united by a traumatic death, intent on paying their final respects, but not really willing to change their ways.

Now all we need is some drunken proclamations of guilt during the wake, a bit of unexpected fooling around in a back closet, and a whole lot of pot luck dishes and we're all set.

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